If you have spent a bit of time interacting with the recovery community, you will have noticed that some people continue to struggle for a long time after they quit while others tend to take to sobriety like a duck to water. We hope that you already belong to the second group but if not, do not worry because there will be things you can do to get on the fast track. The reason some individuals do so well in recovery is that they have the right mental attitude. Below are just 12 of the things successful sober people do differently.
1. Deciding to have Faith in the Process of Recovery
You have given up alcohol or drugs, which mean that you will have removed one of the most significant obstacles to your happiness. You have been trying to climb a high mountain while carrying a ton weight on your back – an almost impossible task. Upon removing this weight from your back, your journey will be much easier, but you still have to climb the mountain.
The best approach to recovery is a type of pragmatic optimism. You expect good things to happen to you in the future because you are doing the right things now. Life is always going to have its ups and downs, but you can have faith in your future because of your commitment to doing things better from here on in. There are going to be tough times, but this is when faith in the process can carry you through.
2. Trusting their Intuition
Learning to trust your intuition is a skill you need to develop because addiction is all about listening to the wrong voices in your head. You need to learn to differentiate from the voice of your ego and the voice of your intuition. The latter works more in feelings than it does in thoughts – if you get an intense feeling that something is right for you, this is probably your intuition speaking. The more you listen to, and follow, your intuition, the more this powerful force can have a positive influence in your life.
3. Successful People Don’t Focus on Excuses
Successful people in sobriety have all the same excuses for failure as those who are struggling but the difference is that these individuals do not care about these excuses. There is always going to be a million reasons why you cannot achieve something, but the trick is to ignore this negativity and do what you need to do anyway. Excuses are of no value for you and can only ever hold you back in life. Instead of talking about why you cannot do something, use this time to find out ways for doing it.
4. Make Use of the Available Resources
Going it alone is not about being stronger or more independent because this approach to life can mean only ever accomplishing mediocre results. All of the most successful people in the world got to where they are by making use of the available resources and by working as part of a team. This makes sense because no one person will be good at everything, and trying to do everything alone only ever produces sloppy results. If you need help or support, you need to be willing to ask for this.
5. They Are Focussed On Progress and Not Perfection
The goal of sobriety is not for you to become an angel overnight. There is likely to be some particularly pressing issues that you need to deal with quickly in order to protect your sobriety (for example, anger management) but, generally speaking, your progress just needs to be steady. Once you are on the right path in life, all you really need to do is keeping walking in the right direction. You will notice character defects getting in the way of your happiness, so you just chip away at these as they cause problems. You are never going to become a perfect human specimen, but you just want to keep moving towards this ideal.
6. They Do Not View Relapse as Inevitable
Successful people in recovery do not look at relapse as an inevitable part of the recovery process. These individuals understand that as long as they keep on doing the right things, their sobriety is assured. The fact that they are not expecting to ever relapse means they are fully committed to making the best of this new life.
7. Successfully Sober People Have Zero Ambivalence
These individuals are not waiting for the day when it will be safe for them to use alcohol or drugs again. This means that they do not view recovery as some type of prison term to be served before again becoming free. If you have any ambivalence towards recovery, it means you are not fully committed and you will not be getting the most from this new life. Give up any thoughts of drinking or using drugs again; this way you can be truly free.
8. They Regularly Leave Their Comfort Zone
It is vital that you get out of your comfort zone at least occasionally, as this is the only real way that you can develop as a human. This means doing things you do not normally do and pushing yourself that little bit harder. Staying in your comfort zone certainly feels easier, but it actually means that you miss out on some of the best things in life. The other problem with this ‘avoiding any hassle’ approach is that if you do not leave your comfort zone, life will come along and push you out of it.
9. They Are Willing To Admit When They Have Gone Off Track
It is possible to develop denial in recovery, which can happen when people refuse to acknowledge that they have gone off-track. All humans make mistakes from time to time, but this does not have to be such a big deal as long as they are able to recognise where they have gone wrong. The real problem starts when individuals are so focused on protecting their ego that they are unable to admit to their mistake. One of the benefits of belonging to a support group or having a sponsor is that there can be others around to offer feedback if you begin to lose your way.
10. They Track Their Progress
It is common for successful people in recovery to have daily habits like journaling. This allows them to track their progress and to assess the impact of any changes they have made to their life. It is important to do this as otherwise, progress can be missed; this type of journaling can also make it more obvious to you if you have gone off course.
11. They Surround Themselves with the Right People
It is no coincidence that successful people tend to be surrounded by other successful people. Humans are influenced by those they spend their time with so if you want to be a winner in life, you should be spending more time with winners. It is also best to try to limit your contact with overly negative people in recovery because these individuals can be toxic.
12. They Are Grateful for Their New Life
Gratitude is probably the most important way that successfully sober people differ from their peers. The key to happiness is not to get more things, but to appreciate what you already have. It is also a reality that grateful people are far less likely to relapse.
